Failing the First Semester of College: What Parents Can Do

By Aron Boxer, M.Ed., S.P.E., Founder and CEO, Diversified Education Services

Midterms came back. Two classes are failing, a third is close, and your student either did not tell you or told you it was fine. Failing the first semester of college at midterm is not the same as failing the semester. There are still seven or eight weeks left, which is enough time to change the outcome, but not if the next seven weeks look like the first seven.

At midterm there is still time this semester, but only if the next seven weeks are different.

Why a Capable Student Is Failing the First Semester of College

The freshman who is failing at midterm is rarely failing because the work is too hard. More often, the first assignments were late or missing, the readings stopped after week two, and by midterms the student was behind in every class and had stopped opening the portal because it was easier not to know. The student who was fine in high school with a parent and a teacher keeping the plan visible is now the only person keeping the plan, and there is no plan.

Understanding that changes the response. Yelling about grades addresses the symptom. The missing plan is the cause.

Three Things to Do This Week

Three things, and they are all things the student does with you standing next to them, not things you do for them.

First, have the student pull up every course and list what has been turned in, what has not, and what is still ahead. Most students have not looked at this in weeks and the number is usually smaller and more recoverable than the fear.

Second, have the student email each professor. Not to explain, and not to ask for leniency, but to ask what can still be submitted and whether the final can outweigh the midterm. The answer may be no, but a professor who is not asked cannot say yes, and the point is to find out exactly what can still be completed instead of assuming the class is lost.

Third, find out the withdrawal deadline. At many colleges a student can withdraw from a course by a set deadline and receive a W rather than an F, and a W is generally not calculated into the GPA. One well-timed withdrawal can turn a semester that ends on academic probation into one that does not. Before deciding, have the student check the college's policy and ask how dropping below full-time affects financial aid, housing, athletic eligibility, or health insurance.

What the Parent Should Not Take Over

The emails, the conversations with professors, and the work. The moment a parent starts writing to the professor, the college treats the situation differently and so does the student. Your job is to make sure the plan exists and is being followed. Their job is to do it.

When Coaching Makes Sense

For a student failing the first semester of college, this is the situation executive function coaching was built for. A coach meets the student online at the same time every week, starting now, not in January. The first session is the inventory above. Every session after that is the week's plan built from the actual syllabi, the work between sessions, and the follow-up on what did and did not get done. The coach gets the student started, keeps them on the plan, and holds them to it in the weeks when no one else is looking.

Parents get to step back without stepping away. When a family wants us to, we coordinate with the campus advisor or any clinician already involved.

DES has coached college students since 2009. There are no packages and no long-term contract. Learn more about executive function coaching for college students.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it too late to save the semester at midterm?

Usually not. At midterm there is often substantial graded work still ahead. The student should work out what is still mathematically possible in each course, using the grading breakdown in the syllabus, before deciding that a class or the semester is lost.

Should our student withdraw from a class or push through?

It depends on the weight of the remaining work, the withdrawal deadline, and whether a lighter load would actually free up time for the other classes. A student who withdraws from one course and keeps the same habits in the other three has not solved anything.

Should we tell our student to come home?

That is a family decision and sometimes the right one. But a student who comes home in October without a plan usually returns in January without one. If the reason for coming home is that the work is not getting done, that problem comes home too.

What if our student will not talk to us about it?

That is common, and it is one reason families bring in a coach. A weekly meeting with an adult who is not the parent, working from the actual coursework, takes the conversation out of the kitchen and puts it on a calendar.

For more background before you call, our Executive Function Knowledge Center and FAQs explain how coaching works, and Why Families Choose DES explains our approach.